Vigilink

Bargain! Pre-Invasion Sale of Authorized Human Codes (AHC)

by Zylx Krell, Authorized Coordinator
All Languages Spoken

Greetings, Human Friends, in the name of Earth's new benefactors. We will be arriving soon, and coming to stay, to enhance the terrestrial environment and educate its human occupants in the style of gracious, peaceful living.  There will be no more hunger, crime, or fear under our generous regime.



Unfortunately, not all humans will qualify for our beneficence. Only those displaying the human codes to be made available by friendly merchants will be permitted to conduct their lives in the new, happiest fashion imaginable, once we have established ourselves--far more joyous than mankind has ever known. 

As mentioned, those humans authorized to participate in ongoing existence must display an authentic credential to remain unmolested or unenslaved. Humans will be required to purchase the code, or "numeric credential" from select of your existing merchants before we begin to arrive from the sky. These select retailers will be announced over the course of 2017.

For a limited time only, these numeric credentials will be sold at a special prearrival, bargain price. Look at what you'll get:

  • An implantable crystal that will eliminate the need for any outward display of credentials.
  • A package of 100 adhesive barcode stickers for those occasions when an outward display may provide safety benefits.
  • One certificate entitling the bearer to a tattoo of the barcoded numerical code.
  • A certificate verifying the authenticity of the code, once fully paid.
All of these will be available beginning on January 1, 2018. Arrivals are presently scheduled to begin on June 22, 2018. Get yours early and avoid any problems of adjustment.

As a special incentive to prepare yourself early, we are making these packages available for the bargain price of six (6) ounces of 24-karat gold. Regrettably, the metal will be the only means of payment acceptable. This is bound to drive up the price of gold, so get in early. Payment plans will be made available to qualified humans.





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