Who Killed The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics? Was It Dick Cheney?

Was it any of these hard working Americans?  I don't think so!

Huh?

by Homeless T
2015-09-30    Video killed the radio, but who remembers what killed the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR)?  Think, America, think!  Surely you remember the USSR--the commie rats, the "Evil Empire," the arch-enemy of freedom?  It was a nation bigger even than Texas, stretching from East Germany to Siberia.  It just fell off the map in 1989, and next thing we all knew, it was plain old Russia again. Was it Lucifer? Lucille Ball?

Can you remember how it happened?

• Was it an asteroid the size of Manhattan that fell smack on Moscow?  The same one that killed off all the dinosaurs too, and that's why you don't see 'em anymore?  
• Was it a series of calamities like the plagues visited upon arrogant Pharaoh by God? Culminating in the death of all the first-born goyim?  On behalf of his captive Hebrews? Mmm--even that doesn't seem
  like enough to knock off a super-power like the USSR.

Super Ronnie Goes for the Long Pass!

Okay, so I'm asking rhetorical
questions!  Everybody knows that what really killed the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was Ronald Reagan and his terrific acting.  He dealt the death blow to Soviet communism with his heart-stopping threat to launch his Star Wars Death Star into orbit. Once he got it up there, keeping it aimed squarely at the Kremlin--with the Death Ray joystick right at his bedside, he wasn't about to let it go. Those dumb commies couldn't know that he was bluffing. Ronnie's make-believe ray-gun scared the Evil Empire literally to pieces.

Whew! That's a load off my mind! Because I dreamt again last night that it was plutocrats on a whim that forced the USSR to go belly up--much like an old dowager moving her dead husband's fortune from one trustee to another, because . . . she doesn't like her private banker's shade of lipstick--or like the two rich old uncles in the movie Trading Places, betting a buck that they can ruin one man and elevate another by manipulating circumstances.  But no, it wasn't any of those bad actors. It was the superlative acting of Ronald Reagan that knocked out the Sovietniks.

I for one will sleep much better when Ronnie Reagan has been chiseled into Mount Rushmore with extra large eyes, so he can keep watch over the country; because lately, I've been waking up in the wee hours, in mid-scream. 

Why?  I've been having nightmares that it is our turn.  You know, our turn to . . .  fall off the map.  Certain parties have known all along that sooner or later the United States will have to refund principal to its international debt-holders--or "suckers," as those shorting the dollar call them.  I'll bet they all have their copies of Hyperinflation Dead Ahead!

Even with its minimal imagination, "smart money" can foresee how massive quantitative easing provides the perfect opportunity to knock the US off the map, just like the USSR.  Especially once short interest on the dollar begins really to snowball.  And look what's coming down the canal!  It's the QE99!  And I never even got to sail on the QE2!  Sooner or later, the dollar will be lowered by rating agencies to "funny money," and when it egregious legerdemain prompt the whole world to dump the dollar-peg--fire sale in the futures pit! And civilization's natural response?--a move to the new currency peg.  The question is of course, which one?

So, hello Q99.  Goodbye, dollarsaurs!  Hello, Planet Peso!  So long, global preeminence!  Greetings, Most Honorable Rulers!  Whose turn is it to be 'it'? Gee, I wonder!  Since I am still as poor and homeless as I have ever been--how shall I say it?--it makes me no never-mind no-how.  Plus, I love rice.



For readers who have made it this far, a definition from the Century Dictionary and Cyclopedia:

plutocracy: 1. government by the wealthy class; the rule of wealth; also, a class ruling by virtue of its wealth. Also plutarchy.  2.  A form of government in which the supreme power is lodged in the hands of the wealthy classes; government by the rich; also, a controlling or influential class of rich men.

Anybody for etymology?

Greek ploutokratiā : ploutos, wealth; see pleu- in Indo-European roots + -kratiā, -cracy.

Okay.  Now comes the truly ugly part of my recurring dream.  The hidden-away powers responsible for this dirty business all along have engaged in a side-helping of cave-man thinking too. They put a person of color into the US presidency just so they can blame the collapse of the United States on non-white leadership.  (Update, July 2014--add in female Fed leadership.) This change of gender/complexion will eventually infect traders of global capital with the pressing sense of urgency profiteers need to get all the suckers furiously reallocating to safer shores at the same time.   

How will budget directors explain to their chairman: why only get 2.643 yuan for a dollar?  They had to get out!  The Federal Reserve was going to hell fast!  Colored leadership!  Female chairpersons!  They were lucky to get even that! 

So, in the spirit of a radicalism that nobody will ever attend to, I offer unsolicited advice to President O'Bama on how to head off their plans.

I urge you, Mr. President, immediately to declare a state of emergency, suspend the constitution, and send a gang of the Chicago boys out to round up all the known plutocrats, wherever they may be hiding.  You'll find Dick Cheney on the Saudi royal yacht, cruising the Gulf with his harem.  Take 'em all into custody--every one of them that your people can lay their hands on.  Then arrange a spectacular trial, and bring these perpetrators before the public, out in the open, for everyone--even us coolies--to see.  And turn them over to a world court loaded with judges from the People's Republic of China.  They'll know what to do.

I don't think I'm alone in my eagerness for a fine show of Chinese justice done Chicago-style.  You may as well, Mr. President--you've got to be weary of taking the blame for those rich elitists.  Not that I can any longer exclude you from that class.  Still, you seem to have a heart, and they're . . . well, they're the kind of people who will poison a well--once they've cornered the market on bottled water.

Don't let privilege-gone-wild win!  Get 'em, gut 'em, hang 'em high, and set an example for the rest of those pluto-rats.  Tell 'em even the bedraggled homeless of America figured out their treachery long ago, and they recommend no pardons.

Click Here to Return to Multi-Post Homepage