Miss Piggy's Luv-a-Cop Telethon

Wipe Your Eyes, My Hero! Miss Piggy Will Find a Way!

by Tommy George

18 December 2014. Allison, Iowa. Scoff-laws of America, beware! You won't be breaking the law around here anymore, because law-enforcement has got your number. McGruff the Crime Dog has already put away over 2,300,000--that's two-million, three-hundred thousand!--lawbreakers. Human being-type people--gone wrong! That's the number of men and women presently locked up in American prisons and jails--more than any other nation in the entire history of evil-doing! We're beating the pants off old Eichman!

Doctors Recommend Masturbation to Fend Off Prostate Problems

by Tommy George
October 25, 2017. Researchers now agree that as men age and testosterone levels decline, so does frequency of intercourse between partners. Conversely, slow developing disorders of the prostate gland begin to pick up steam, often leading to cancer of the prostate. There is something you can do about it. Several things, in fact.

Salivation Army Wants You to Ring Their Bells at Christmas

by Tommy George

27 NOVEMBER 2017. Despite the general perception of homeless men as happy wanderers--leading lives of adventure, wine, women, and song--as winter sets in, things get harder, and downright dangerous as Christmas approaches. Black Friday kicks off open season for Salivation Army's (SA) annual drafting of derelicts to serve as donation-kettle bell-ringers, doing what homeless men do best: standing around, hitting up passersby for spare change. The Supreme Commander of the SA calls this draft "bagging our bozos." Here's how it works.

Bob Barker Says Lucy Is the Poorest Elephant in the World

Is An Oppressed Member of a Different Species Worth Your Concern? Please help in any way possible. Links included in text. Boycott Canadian goods

by Tommy George

October 26, 2017.  "When you get to the bottom of it, it is always greed"--to paraphrase Bob Barker's statement in a Toronto Star interview given after his failure to help Lucy the Elephant retire from the Edmonton Valley Zoo in Alberta, Canada. In 2009 animal activist Bob Barker tried to purchase and retire the long-solitary elephant star of a radically off-climate zoo.

Portraits in Real Women: Cristina Swinton

posted by Tommy George
written by Joan E Thurman

Cristina with the Pink Harley Davidson Left her by her late husband Ron, who passed in 2009.

When lousy heartbreaking things happen to real women, they buck up their courage and carry on. All women have loss, just as all men do. The difference: females in our culture are conditioned to fall apart and act helpless. Men are not. Cristina realized what she had to deal with right away: "I knew it was only me. All up to me now," she said about her husband's passing. She looks like she dealt with all those sad details well, and today enjoys the happy memories and puts the bad out of mind.

Christina Swinton lost Ron in 2009, but he left her loving memories and a pink 1967 Harley Davidson that turns heads on any road she travels--as does the youthful, down-to-earth widow herself. She is one of the new breed of grown-up hotties: thoughtful souls who populate this college town of Waverly, Iowa and keep it vital.

Women of character learn to resume happy lives: fighting the temptation of Christ to become broken up and completely dependent on God (or others) because of the tragedies which inevitably come. They learn to keep on moving forward, laughing, and remembering the good.

Cristina Swinton. This Woman Rules! How about you?

jt/30 Aug. 2017

Pyrates of the Poop-Deck

by Tommy George 

2013-12-15

Ye be sailin' into biblical headwinds, Matey

moonin' over that frilly yellow-haired doll

who felled ye in the first place, a-falling

                   down,

           down,

drownin' yer soul in her poisonous squall.

Denied a Dignified Death: Elizabeth Ann Tasseff

by Tommy George

2015-10-18. Today would have been her 100th birthday. During the shortening days of December 2005, my mother, probably the only real friend I ever had, fell into a deep depression from which she never recovered. "Failure to thrive" was doctors' enigmatic diagnosis. It seemed more apt for an infant than a geriatric patient, but it had by then depleted most of her life reserves.

The Questionable Damnation of Good Pope Formosus

by Tommy George

✞

THE DAMNATIO IMMEMORIAE OF POPE FORMOSUS

The Scandalous Dissolution of his Papacy in 883 C.E.

By the time of Summer Solstice, 883 C.E., the mortal coil of Pope Formosus had long been off-shuffled, and the dead Pontiff's eternal soul attuned for a perfect half-score years to the seamless bliss of Paradise. In the instant of his immortal soul's reawakening, Formosus realized all: his liberal Papacy had moved its own clerics to mendacity, and sown discord among them. Despite his efforts as Pontiff to improve the lives of the peasantry under his reign, the spiritual life of the Universal masses had plodded on the same as always–heavy as an anvil, ignorant as an ox.